A House Full of Owls in A Head Full of Horror

Horror fans have fondness for certain critters: cats, bats, spiders, corvids are among them. While I appreciate all those beasties, there’s a special place in my heart for owls. When this aspect of my personality became common knowledge, my small collection of decorative owl tchotchkes and artwork mushroomed. Friends and family no longer had to scratch their heads about what to give me as a gift. My home was transformed into a quasi-aviary bedecked with inanimate owls.

In April of 2022, a live owl came into the picture. For roughly a month, it used a tree outside the master bedroom as its homebase. This resulted in comments such as “Don’t you think you have taken this owl collecting thing too far?” The Great Horned owl became used to my presence as I worked in the yard below it, blinking its huge eyes as I yelled at the crows who were badgering it. My neighbors likely thought that I’d totally lost it this time, and I realized that instead of the label “Crazy Cat Lady,” I was bound for the “Crazy Owl Lady” moniker.

The crows began their cacophony promptly at 6AM in a ritual that became known as “The Morning Wake-up Caw.” Their agitation with their perceived predator was chronic. And aurally disruptive. One day, I heard a different birdcall. Not the owl’s hoot, but in conjunction with the crows’ typical nails-on-the-chalkboard screeching and cawing. I looked up into the tree and saw a large hawk perched close to the owl, in a posture of “This yard isn’t big enough for both of us.” Between the pestering of the crows and the presence of the interloping raptor, the owl had enough. No matter how hospitable the Entertaining Earthbound Biped Crow Scarer might be, it was time to migrate elsewhere.

Do I miss the live owl who varied my days in unusual ways? Of course. But I don’t miss waking up early to agitated avian shrieking or substantial bird droppings on the patio or regurgitated remains of undigested prey that required daily clean up. I am content with my no-maintenance-except-for-dusting collection. Yet I would welcome the return of the live owl, should it happen.